The internet is full of people who love doing downright wei*d things and people who love animals…and there are times when these two fascinations meet in the best way possible! So, when one TikToker called MinnieTheVet decided to feed the pigeons at her local park by implementing a “homemade” bread-suit idea, the internet was absolutely there for it.
In a video that she, understandably, called “Cu*sed Pigeon Feeding,” Minnie decided to spi!e up the somewhat boring activity of feeding the pigeons by putting her own spin on the activity! Prepare yourself, because if you needed any more proof that there is apparently no such thing as a b-ad idea on the internet then read on.
Yes, like any good bread suit, Minnie started by sti!kin! vari-ous slices of bread across her body. This is the classic way to start assembling a bread suit, something which I do on a daily basis.
When she isn’t being a pion-eer in the field of bread suit technology, Minnie is actually a sea turtle ve*erina*ian. When the bread suit was completed it even featured a bread hat! Clearly not concerned about pigeons being near her face (something which makes me, a man so s*ared of germs that even saying the word “pigeon” makes him want to have a shower, re!ch.
Minnie topped her outfit of Sure, she may have got some looks from other park-goers, but if parks aren’t safe spaces for people to wrap themselves in wholegrain and have pigeons devour it from their bodies then what are parks for I ask you?!
The suit was also a h** with some of the local d*cks, who were just quackers about Minnie’s look! I’m sure that she was glad that no swans took a shine to the outfit though, as being wrapp-ed in bread and chased by a bunch of geese and swans is literally a nightmare that I had as a child…and again as an adult most nights to this day.
It’s h*** to say if Minnie will be feeding the birds like this again in the future, but it was definitely an experience to remember!
After the birds had made short work of the bread, they fortunately left Minnie alone and allowed her to wander off, free from her Hitchcockian afternoon. I can’t say it is something that I will be doing myself, but I guess for some people there is nothing quite like fashioning a blo-omer boiler suit only to have it torn to shreds by ravenous fi*th* birds — and that is a sentence that I never thought I would write, but thanks to the w*irdn-ess of the internet, it has been made possible!
What do you think of Minnie’s st*nt? Let us know in the comments! with a bread cap. And, once kitted out in her Coco Chanel by way of Warburtons aesthetic, Minnie cat-walked her way over to the hottest pigeon spot in the park!
All that was left then was to lie down and let the pigeons swarm! To paraphrase a popular film, “If you build it, the pigeons will come,” and by God the pigeons came! Minnie was quickly covered in pigeons, all of whom were taking c*unks out of her edible attire as though they were patrons of the most unsettling restaurant on Earth. Minnie was overjoyed that her bread suit was a raging success!